刘琳涵托福独立写作6.6

vicky_niu

Nowadays,the setting of college courses raises intense debates on whether university students should take the basic science classes even for students whose field of study are not relevant to them. Some propose that grasping basic science knowledge is necessary for each university student while some others maintain that compared to students who is in the field of basic science study,these knowledges are attached much less significance concerning to other students.From my perspective, indispensable though basic science knowledges are in the development of our modern science and technology, many university students can take the basic science courses as selective ones instead of required ones for following reasons.

First and foremost,People now stress on the teamwork among students which consequently reduce the requirement for students’comprehensive knowledges including basic science.Since twenty century when amount og information increased exponentially,people have realized the importance of cooperation, which makes college professors pay more attention on teamwork.Most top universities,like Havard,Yale,ask students to complete their projects as a team.In that way each student has specialization,some will focus on theory analyze while some are responsible for collecting information which do not need any basic science knowledges.With such division of work, science courses are no longer basic requirement for all students.

Moreover,it is the finding a decent job after graduate that is majority of college students’goal.Either the job interviewing before work or the real work after getting the job,scientific knowledge make little advantage to students in other fields.Specifically,a singer will not asked to understand physic problems when they perform on the stage,a writer will not solve math problem as they are writing articles,a journalist don’t need to know the principle of chemical reaction when they interview others.Consequently, scarcely do basic science courses have practical use for students in other field study.Unfortunately,chances are that those students’efforts are distracted to complete basic science courses,which leads to unsatisfactory result of their major.

Part of the public may think the more students understand,the better they are,therefore basic science courses become necessary.However, it is not the case.Requirement for such courses can results in negative side effect.People’s energy is limited,just like a farmland.The area of the farm land is confined,we can only choose to grow one kind of plants.If we plan to grow wheat,but a part of farmland is asked to grow maize.Obviously, not only the area but also the water and fertilizer for crops are decreased.More kinds of plants to grow in the farmland means more energy and time that farmers pay.However,it is likely that the diversity of plants is not in direct but in inverse proportion of the profits farmers get.Thus,focusing on a specific plants sometimes is a better choice.

As a result, I think it is better if students can choose those courses on their own rather than being asked to learning those knowledges.Only in that way can students manage their time and energy to accomplish their goal.

山姆大叔

Nowadays,the setting of college courses raises intense debates on whether university students should take the basic science classes even for students whose field of study are not relevant to them. Some propose that grasping basic science knowledge is necessary for each university student while some others maintain that compared to students who is（are） in the field of basic science study,these knowledges are attached much less significance concerning to other students.(建议不要写这么多重从句，很容易就把自己绕进去了，没写对反而还会扣分。一个句子的上限有一个主句两个从句就可以了，其它的能用动词分词形式，或者介词短语表达就尽量不用从句)From my perspective, indispensable though basic science knowledges are in the development of our modern science and technology, many university students can take the basic science courses as selective ones instead of required ones for following reasons.

First and foremost,People now stress on the teamwork among students which consequently reduce the requirement for students’comprehensive knowledges including basic science.Since twenty century when amount og information increased exponentially,people have realized the importance of cooperation, which makes college professors pay more attention on teamwork.Most top universities,like Havard,Yale,ask students to complete their projects as a team.In that way（这里用Woking as a team更好） each student has specialization,(这里最好是两句分开)some will focus on theory analyze while some are responsible for collecting information which do not need any basic science knowledges.With such division of work, science courses are no longer basic requirement for all students.

Moreover,it is the finding a decent job after graduate that is majority of college students’goal（应该是the goal of the majority of college graduates）.Either the job interviewing before work or the real work after getting the job,scientific knowledge make(用brings更好) little advantage to students in other fields.Specifically,a singer will not（be） asked to understand physic problems when they perform on the stage,a writer will not solve math problem as they are writing articles,a journalist don’t need to know the principle of chemical reaction when they interview others这个从句可以不用写.Consequently, scarcely do basic science courses have practical use for students in other field study.Unfortunately,chances are that those students’efforts are distracted to complete basic science courses,which leads to unsatisfactory result of their major.

Part of the public may think the more students understand,the better they are,therefore basic science courses become necessary.However, it is not the case.Requirement for such courses can results in negative side effect.People’s energy is limited,just like a farmland.The area of the farm land is confined,we can only choose to grow one kind of plants.If we plan to grow wheat,but a part of farmland is asked to grow maize.Obviously, not only the area but also the water and fertilizer for crops are decreased.More kinds of plants to grow in the farmland means more energy and time that farmers pay.However,it is likely that the diversity of plants is not in direct but in inverse proportion of the profits farmers get.Thus,focusing on a specific plants sometimes is a better choice.

As a result, I think it is better if students can choose those courses on their own rather than being asked to learning those knowledges.Only in that way can students manage their time and energy to accomplish their goal.


在写作上我发现你特别喜欢用从句把句子写长，但是这个作法看一两个句子还好，整篇文章看下来就会有点单调，注意用动词分词和适当的介词短语完全能胜任从句的角色。学会同义替换，才能实现语法上的进一步发展。

vicky_niu

山姆大叔 发表于 2014-6-13 18:02
Nowadays,the setting of college courses raises intense debates on whether university students should ...

可能是我的习惯，下次我写的时候注意换一换！

来自留学微吧-IOS

山姆大叔

vicky_niu 发表于 2014-6-13 18:50
可能是我的习惯，下次我写的时候注意换一换！

来自留学微吧-IOS

嗯哪，多换才会提高

来自留学微吧-Android