小女子求大神批改

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (aged five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math,
language, science and history.

  There is no denying on the fact that the issue whether should younger school children (aged five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science and history has caused heated debate in china recently. A large number of people, especially parents, hold the perspective that younger children should be required to study art and music besides the compulsory subjects in school, contending that younger children have better learning ability to grasp the knowledge faster and well, and learning art and music is beneficial for them to nurture the sense of aesthetics, in addition, these artistic skills may help them be more competitive in future. But are they? Close analysis cannot bear these arguments.

  Admittedly, younger children’s learning ability is better, however, for children who are only five to ten years old, these too much subjects have overloaded them. Failing to get enough rest, they are overtired when they are forced to study art and music, which may cause their disobedient mood and attitude towards learning. Without playtime with other kids, they lose many opportunities to communicate with others to foster their social skills which serve as one of essential conditions of competition. Taken these factors into account, those arguments are too vulnerable to support the view mentioned in last passage. It is clear now many people are confused by its seemingly good qualities and neglect its intrinsic disadvantages rendered bellow:Our younger children have been overwhelmed by many assignments and examinations, both their physical health and psychological well-being are adversely effected. According to 100 studies carried out in 30 cities throughout China, more than fifty percent younger students in elementary school are under sub-healthy condition, and approximately one third of them are suffering myopia, these ratios are much higher than the average level of the world. No one can cast doubt on the fact behind the number that too many subjects do harmful to our younger school children.

  What’s more, an equal essential factor which deserves people’s attention is the expensive tuition for the private art and music classes has brought more pressure to the family. As we all know, the majority of Chinese people are almost struck down by tremendous pressure caused by housing, work, raising next generation and so on. The extra expenditure for their children to learn art and music makes the situation worse, obviously. Great pressures almost dive people crazy, which entices ascending of crime rate.

   In addition, accompanying children to go to different artistic classes, driving them go and back, nearly do parents not have any spare time of their own. This is cruel for parents that they couldn’t have relaxation, develop their own interest and hobbies.

   Therefore, from what has been discussed, it is not a wise point that younger school children (aged five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science and history. They are too young to handle so many subjects. What’s more important, their parents need more time to relieve the great pressure caused by tuition and living. I call for strongly that both younger school children and their parents should be liberated from the predicaments listed above.