托福独立作文

eivissa

Currently, the issue concerned about it is better to spend money on something that lasts a long time which is widely discussed in to a point . As for me, I definitely object it as a narrow and distorted view.I’am convince that short-term pleasure is better.

First of all,spending money on short-term pleasure is better for us to release pressure.A long period of time ,Hawaii attracts vast amount of tourist from all over the world.The travellers enjoy themselves with the excellent sceney ,such as brilliant sunshine and soft sea wind.It is a good place to relax in such a small island without distraction.Through this way,we may feel comfortable and funny.When we work so hard in the city, we indeed need some time to relax ourselves.When we spend our money for a trip,we can enioy the time with nature.It will be a good experience.If we just spend amount of money to buy something,we couldn’t have that feeling.

Moreover,we can inrich more knowledge from short-term pleasure. As we travel to The Great Wall in Beijing.It give us a chance to learn more history stories from this.The Great Wall was build in Qin’dynasty by tens of thousands of labors.They build this to protect themselves from invading. It is a huge project.The labors show how diligent they are to built this kind of work in such a long time ago.We may spend some time listening how The Great Wall was built.After that,it will become our own knowledge. How can we get this kind of information if we just spending money to buy a jewelry.I totally agree that use money to buy this shot-term pleasure is more meaningful.

I have to concede that spending money on expensive jewelry also bring some joy for us.It may feel better to own such a expensive thing.Bur as a survey from BBC,82% of people convince that they may chose to spend money on which can make get some real pleasure like have a good trip instead of buy something expensive to collect.It prove that lots of people think short-term pleasure is more improtant.We all want our life can become more delighted.So it is no surpring for so many people make this choice.

To sum up,I perfer spending money for short-term pleasure to shopping something valuable.It will let me feel better to have more joy .

山姆大叔

Currently, the issue concerned about it is better to spend money on something that lasts a long time which is widely discussed in to a point （这句话的主句没有谓语和宾语哦，你有没有发现it前面少了个whether，issue对应的没有谓语？）. As for me, I definitely object it as a narrow and distorted view.I’am convince that short-term pleasure is better.


First of all,spending money on short-term pleasure is better for us to release pressure.（这里要加For）A long period of time ,Hawaii attracts vast amount of tourist from all over the world.The travellers enjoy themselves with the excellent sceney ,such as brilliant sunshine and soft sea wind.It is a good place to relax in such a small island without distraction.Through this way,we may feel comfortable and funny.When we work so hard in the city, we indeed need some time to relax ourselves.When we spend our money for a trip,we can enioy the time with nature.It will be a good experience.If we just spend amount of money to buy something,we couldn’t have that feeling.


Moreover,we can inrich more knowledge from short-term pleasure. As we travel to The Great Wall in Beijing.It give（这里不用分开两句，而且give是三单） us a chance to learn more history stories from this.The Great Wall was build in Qin’dynasty by tens of thousands of labors.They build this to protect themselves from invading. It is a huge project.The labors show how diligent they are to built this kind of work in such a long time ago.We may spend some time listening how The Great Wall was built.After that,it will become our own knowledge. How can we get this kind of information if we just spending money to buy a jewelry.I totally agree that use money to buy this shot-term pleasure is more meaningful.


I have to concede that spending money on expensive jewelry also bring some joy for us.It may feel better（注意这里的指代，是珠宝自身感觉好，还是我们自己因为珠宝而感觉好？） to own such a expensive thing.Bur as a survey from BBC,82% of people convince that they may chose to spend money on which can make get（get不用写） some real pleasure like have（have也不用写，你写了反而错） a good trip instead of buy（buy不用写） something expensive to collect.It prove（注意三单） that lots of people think short-term pleasure is more improtant.We all want our life can become more delighted.So it is no surpring for so many people make this choice.


To sum up,I perfer spending money for short-term pleasure to shopping something valuable.It will let me feel better to have more joy .（最后一段写少了，可以把第一段倒过来改写一遍，按照观点+讨论+时代背景这么写回来，增加字数）


总的来说，可以打到23分左右了，注意第三人称单数（三单）问题和动词形式的问题。有时候如果你没想好动词用什么形式，不写反而会对。在检查的时候，要重点检查动词原形的地方，80%的机率就是这里写错了。