刘琳涵托福独立写作课堂练习修改 6.9

vicky_niu

Several decades have witnessed the huge improvement of people’s lives.With the continuing development of science and technology,some people still state that the most significant improvement have not yet appeared while some others believes that the most significant part of the improvement have already taken place.From my perspective, no matter what happened in the future, people’s lives have gone through the most crucial improvement.

First and foremost, there is no doubt that health plays vital part in people’s life in which the most pivotal improvement have occurred.The public were unaware of the course of most disease until late last century,which resulted in the wrong altitude towards the disease.It is common in the middle age that people attempted to cure patients by holy water or the curses from witch doctor ,which led to numerous dead.In contrast, since the end of last century, with the correct understanding of the human bodies and the how diseases destroyed people’s health,doctors ,consequently, began to use advanced medical treatments which have cured millions of people.People are able to survive from cancer by surgery and smallpox are greatly avoided by vaccinating.It is the understanding of disease that the pivotal improvement which have taken place.Had it not been for such improvements ,there would not have been more and more diseases to be overcome.

Also, transportation is attached significance in people’s life.More though convenient and faster vehicles may be , the most considerable improvement have happened.In the past, people are limited in a bounded region and have no idea of the whole earth.With the invention of various of transportation, ranging from the automobile to spaceships,people’s view of world have entirely changed.Businessmen limited their trade within the small region because of the restricted kinds of vehicles such as wooden boats.And then thanks to the appearance of steam ship, the train and the jet,trades between distant areas are common.World is smaller and people from different continents are getting more closely bonded.The following invention of the more advanced transportation are only the practice of the idea.

However,part of the public may consider the poor situation that many people suffer remains a big yet unsolved issue.In fact, the most significant improvement to solve the poverty in most parts of world have taken place.Statics show that above 70 percent of countries succeed in develop their economy,most families have ameliorate their financial conditions.Countries in South America or Asia have undergone exponential improvement of economy.Like China,changes of common people’s life have amazed the world. The public who regarded bicycle as a luxury in 1800s now own a car for each one on average.

Generally speaking, It is the improvement in people’s ideas and thoughts that weighs over any other improvements.Thus,the most vital improvement have occurred even though there will be more advancement of quality of people’s life in the future.

山姆大叔

Several decades have witnessed the huge improvement of people’s lives.With the continuing development of science and technology,some people still state that the most significant improvement have not yet appeared while some others believes（believe） that the most significant part of the improvement have already taken place.From my perspective, no matter what happened (will happen) in the future, people’s lives have gone through the most crucial improvement.

First and foremost, there is no doubt that health plays vital part in people’s life in which the most pivotal improvement have occurred.The public were unaware of the course of most disease until late last century,which resulted in the wrong altitude towards the disease.It is(was) common in the middle age that people attempted to cure patients by holy water or the curses from witch doctor ,which led to numerous dead(death).In contrast, since the end of last century, with the correct understanding of the human bodies and the how diseases destroyed people’s health,doctors ,consequently, began to use advanced medical treatments which have cured millions of people.People are able to survive from cancer by surgery and smallpox are greatly avoided by vaccinating.It is the understanding of disease that the pivotal improvement which have taken place.Had it not been for such improvements ,there would not have been more and more diseases to be overcome.

Also, transportation is attached significance in people’s life.More though(Though more) convenient and faster vehicles may be , the most considerable improvement have happened.In the past, people are limited in a bounded region and have no idea of the whole earth.With the invention of various of transportation, ranging from the automobile to spaceships,people’s view of world have entirely changed.Businessmen limited their trade within the small region because of the restricted kinds of vehicles such as wooden boats.And then thanks to the appearance of steam ship(ships), the(不用加the，直接用名词复数表示泛指就行) train and the jet,trades between distant areas are common.World is smaller and people from different continents are getting more closely bonded.The following invention of the more advanced transportation are only the practice of the idea.

However,part of the public may consider the poor situation（贫困直接说poverty，不然会误解成”可怜的境地“） that many people suffer remains a big yet unsolved issue.In fact, the most significant improvement to solve the poverty in most parts of world have taken place.Statics show that above 70 percent of countries succeed in develop（developing） their economy,most families have ameliorate their financial conditions.Countries in South America or Asia have undergone exponential improvement of economy.Like(比如说，不一定要写like，这里你直接写in就行了) China,changes of common people’s life have amazed the world. The public who regarded bicycle as a luxury in 1800s now own a car for each one on average.

Generally speaking, It is the improvement in people’s ideas and thoughts that weighs over any other improvements.Thus,the most vital improvement have occurred even though there will be more advancement of quality of people’s life in the future.

山姆大叔

总的来说，结构上例子上都达到要求了，细节部分的失误还要注意，23-24分左右吧。