SAT满分作文鉴赏

山姆大叔

因为现在市面上各种SAT满分作文很多，有的的确是满分作文，而有的根本连写都没有写完，因此本帖长期更新SAT满分作文，为需要满分作文参考的同学指条明路，呵呵。另外，最近练习SAT写作的同学，可以发帖到我们的写作专区进行练习：http://bbs.passions.com.cn/forum-43-1.html

一楼：杀生丸大人镇楼，哈哈

山姆大叔

一、写作题目

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below

A better understanding of other people contributes to the development of moral virtues. We shall be both kinder and fairer in our treatment of others if we understand them better. Understanding ourselves and understanding others are connected, since as human beings we all have things in common.

Assignment: Do we need other people in order to understand ourselves? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

题目翻译：
更好地了解他人有助于道德品行的发展。如果我们更好地了解他人的话，我们就会更加友好和公正地对待他们。了解自己和了解他人是紧密相连的，因为作为人类我们都有共同点。
命题：为了认识自己，我们是否需要他人？

二、6分范文

Most parents and teachers tell students the extremely tired cliché of the consequences of following the crowd. It is said that, in order to be a completely individual thinker, one must ignore what others say. Such advice is certainly true to some extent; unreasonable malice must be forgotten in order to keep some level of self-esteem. However, as with most ideas, this one can not be taken in absolute form. In at least some respects, we need other people in order to understand ourselves.

An excellent example of a literary character that could have psychologically benefitted from social interaction is J. Alfred Prufrock from T.S. Eliot’s poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” In the poem, Prufrck desires a relationship with a woman very much, but he refrains from initiating conversation because he fears that he could not hold the interest of a sophisticated lady. Should Prufrock have taken the step to accept other people into his life, he most likely would have discovered, as the reader of the poem certainly did, that he is most articulate. Others would have impressed upon him the beauty of his words and his talent for prose. If Prufrock would have spoken his song a loud, the ladies surely would have shown him what he himself did not understand. Since the ladies would reveal Prufrock’s talents to him, it is true that we need others in order to understand ourselves.

The lesson of learning from other’s opinions of yourself extends much farther than the song of a fictional character. Two days ago, in an art class, my group of students had assigned self portraits due. Most of us brought in photographs of ourselves. Nevertheless, one boy brought nothing and handed us all slips of paper. He told us to write a word to describe him, and when we had done so, he pasted the words on a poster. This must have been a revealing exercise for him because, upon the sight of such descriptions as “bitter” and “sarcastic”, he was shocked. In the case of this boy, he had not realized how his personality appeared to others. Though he might not have thought himself “bitter”, his friend’s comments certainly made him seem that way. The fact that we need others in order to understand ourselves is clearly shown by this boy’s revelation.

范文翻译：

随大流的后果是大多数家长和老师对学生挂在嘴边的老生常谈。他们说，为了成为完全独立的思想者，一个人必须忽视他人的看法。在某种程度上，这种建议是正确的；我们必须忘记无理的恶言恶语，以保持适度的自尊。然而，和对待其他思想一样，我们对此种思想的认同也不能绝对化。至少，在某些方面，我们需要他人的帮助以认识自己。

一位文学人物，T.S.艾略特(T.S. Eliot)的诗作“J·阿尔弗瑞德·普鲁弗洛克的情歌”(“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”)中的主人公J·阿尔弗瑞德·普鲁弗洛克(J. Alfred Prufrock)是这一观点的绝佳范例。他本可以从社会交往中得到心理慰藉。在诗中，普鲁弗洛克渴望能和一位女子发展关系，但由于担心自己无法引起一位见多识广的女士的兴趣，他不敢主动上前攀谈。如果普鲁弗洛克能够行动起来，将他人纳入生活的话，他很可能会和该诗的读者一样，发现自己是多么的精于言辞。人们会折服于他的锦绣文章和绝妙文才。如果普鲁弗洛克能够大声唱出他的情歌，女士们一定会带他发现他所不了解的事情。由于女士们能为普鲁弗洛克揭示他的才能，所以我们确实需要他人的帮助以认识自己。

从他人对自己的看法中受益的经验可不只跟虚构人物的情歌有关。两天前是我们小组学生的美术课作业交稿日，作业是一幅自画像。大部分学生带来了自己的照片。然而，一个男生空手而来，并且递给我们每人一张纸条。他让我们每人写一个词形容他。我们完成以后，他把这些词粘在一张大纸上。这对他来说一定是一次发现之旅，因为看见诸如“刻薄”，“尖酸”之类的形容词，他震惊了。对这位男生来说，他从未认识到在别人眼里他是怎样的个性。虽然他可能并不认为自己“刻薄”，但朋友的评论显然表明他是这样的。这位男生的启示清楚地证明了，我们需要别人的帮助以认识自己。

三、得分点详解

1effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点，运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点，从而展示出色的思辨能力。

针对命题“为了认识自己，我们是否需要他人？”，本文采用让步法，先承认“我们必须忘记无理的恶言恶语，以保持适度的自尊。”（unreasonable malice must be forgotten in order to keep some level of self-esteem.），接下来笔锋一转，指出“然而，和对待其他思想一样，我们对此种思想的认同也不能绝对化。”（However, as with most ideas, this one can not be taken in absolute form.）然后提出论点 “至少，在某些方面，我们需要他人的帮助以认识自己。

”(In at least some respects, we need other people in order to understand ourselves.)。这种开头方式充分考虑了双方立场，体现出思维的全面性和逻辑的严密性。为了支持论点，作者以T.S.艾略特(T.S. Eliot)的诗作“J·阿尔弗瑞德·普鲁弗洛克的情歌”(“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”)中的主人公J·阿尔弗瑞德·普鲁弗洛克(J. Alfred Prufrock)和自己的同学为例，从正反两方面论证了他人在自我认识中的重要地位。普鲁弗洛克没能跨出与人交往的第一步，因而失去了发现自己才能的机会；而作者的同学则从组员的评价中看见了自己未曾意识到的一面。在叙述事例时，作者实现了抽象概念具体化，普鲁弗洛克事例中的他人是指普鲁弗洛克未能与之交往的女士们，而自我认识则是指认识到普鲁弗洛克的语言天分。同学的事例中他人是指组员，自我认识是指这位同学“尖酸”“刻薄”的个性。

（upon the sight of such descriptions as “bitter” and “sarcastic”, he was shocked.）在普鲁弗洛克的事例中，作者采用了假设推理法，指出既然“情歌”展示出普鲁弗洛克超强的语言驾驭能力，那么，如果普鲁弗洛克能够和女士们交往的话，他就会从她们口中听到对他“锦绣文章和绝妙文才”的赞扬，从而“发现自己是多么的精于言辞” （Should Prufrock have taken the step to accept other people into his life, he most likely would have discovered, as the reader of the poem certainly did, that he is most articulate. Others would have impressed upon him the beauty of his words and his talent for prose. If Prufrock would have spoken his song a loud, the ladies surely would have shown him what he himself did not understand.）后一个例子作者从现象分析原因，抓住同学的“震惊”，推理出朋友的评论一定让他突然看见了和自我评价不相符的一面。

这篇文章分析非常深刻，事例也很贴切，展现了出色的思辨能力。

2is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas

结构合理，中心明确，思路连贯，衔接自然。

文章采用总-分结构，首段提出论点，其余两段用事例证明论点。没有总结段是个小小的遗憾。在叙述事例的时候，作者综合运用了表示因果的 “because”, “since”，表示转折的 “but”, “nevertheless”, “though”等过渡词，第三段开头作者以“从他人对自己的看法中受益的经验可不只跟虚构人物的情歌有关。”（The lesson of learning from other’s opinions of yourself extends much farther than the song of a fictional character.）引出第二个例子，十分自然。

全文紧扣论点，不枝不蔓，起承转合十分得体。

3exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary
显示运用语言的技巧，词汇丰富、准确、恰当

4demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure
运用多种句子结构

5is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
在语法、用法和技巧上错误很少

本篇范文优雅形象的语言非常值得广大考生学习。尤其是第二段，可谓字字珠玑。 “desires a relationship”把普鲁弗洛克对女子的向往表达得含蓄而优美， “refrains from initiating conversation” 中 “refrain”（克制）一词则道尽了普鲁弗洛克的隐忍，接下来，作者在勾画普鲁弗洛克向往的女性形象时选用了 “sophisticated”（有教养的，见多识广的）一词，和“情诗”中两次重现的一句话“In the room the women come and go/Talking of Michelangelo”（房间里女人来往穿梭，谈论着米凯朗基罗）[1]暗合，不仅体现了作者的语言功底，而且表明作者确实对艾略特的诗有所研究。下一句中的 “accept other people into his life” 则很有动感，非常形象。作者对各种句式的运用也很熟练。第一段中， “However, as with most ideas, this one can not be taken in absolute form.” 运用了插入语； “unreasonable malice must be forgotten in order to keep some level of self-esteem.” 是被动式；第二段运用了大量虚拟句， 如 “Should Prufrock have ….” 全文长短句结合，参差有序。

四、经典词句

Malice 恶意
例：Unreasonable malice must be forgotten in order to keep some level of self-esteem.
Words spoken in malice wound.
refrain 抑制，克制
例：He refrains from initiating conversation because he fears that he could not hold the interest of a sophisticated lady.
Please refrain from smoking during the performance.
Sophisticated 有经验的，高雅的，见过世面的
例：He refrains from initiating conversation because he fears that he could not hold the interest of a sophisticated lady.
Mr. Smith is a sophisticated world traveler.
articulate 表达能力强的
例：He most likely would have discovered, as the reader of the poem certainly did, that he is most articulate.
She was too frightened to articulate.
Revealing 揭露真相的
例：This must have been a revealing exercise for him
The book is very revealing about young people’s views of themselves
upon the sight of 看见
例：Upon the sight of such descriptions as “bitter” and “sarcastic”, he was shocked.
I had come upon the sight of the place after a long and tiring circuit.
In the case of 就……而言
例：In the case of this boy, he had not realized how his personality appeared to others.
It's the kind of story we think of as myth. But in the case of Lincoln, the story is true.

五、事例扩展

普鲁弗洛克的例子还可以用于关于文学艺术的话题，如
1.Can books and stories about characters and events that are not real teach us anything useful?
2.Is the main value of the arts to teach us about the world around us?

以及关于决定的话题，如
1.Are decisions made quickly just as good as decisions made slowly and carefully?
2.Should people let their feelings guide them when they make important decisions?
3.What is your opinion of the claim that making a bad decision is sometimes better than making no decision at all?

同学的例子还可以用于关于谎言和与人相处的艺术的话题，如
1.Is deception ever justified?
2.Is praising others, even if the praise is excessive or underserved， a necessary part of life?
3.Would the world be a better place if everyone always told the complete truth?
4.Do circumstances determine whether or not we should tell the truth?
5.Is criticism-judging or finding fault with the ideas and actions of others-essential for personal well-being and social progress?
6.Is it sometimes necessary to be impolite?
7.What is your opinion of the claim that sometimes honesty is not the best policy?

[1] 引自 “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”原文，米开朗基罗是意大利文艺复兴时期伟大的绘画家、雕塑家、建筑师和诗人，文艺复兴时期雕塑艺术最高峰的代表。与拉斐尔和达芬奇并称为文艺复兴后三杰。

山姆大叔

第一篇：SAT OG满分作文之一

一、写作题目
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below

The old saying, “be careful what you wish for”, may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one’s perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life’s difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once “success” is achieved than they were before.

Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

题目翻译：

那句古老的谚语“当心你所期盼的东西”不失为一句恰当的警示。实现特定目标的动机能够危险地使一个人的观念变得狭隘，并且助长这样一种幻想：一次努力后的成功能够解决生活中的所有问题。事实上，成功有时候会带来无法预料的后果。那些为着实现某一目标而奋斗的人常常发现，“成功”实现后他们的生活变得比过去更糟了。

命题：成功可以是灾难性的吗？

二、6分范文

The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands. Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.

Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals. Nero, the Roman emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political influence; Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English peasants starved; The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out the Spanish Inquisition… The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in William Shakespeare’s tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue (in the form of Lear’s good daughter, Cordelia) returns to England. Success is hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.

However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.

Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you –it is about using one’s newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will never go astray: “To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.”

范文翻译：

当成功被错误的人掌握时，其力量将是灾难性的。世上自然有这样的人：他们总是尽力操纵局面，实现自我成功，而不把周围的人生死放在眼里。另一方面，还有这样的人，他们追求的目标不一定自私，但就是不知道怎么对待取得的成功，因此落得自我毁灭的下场。

纵观历史，可见不肖之徒妄用手中的成功。那些强大的帝王领袖成功获取了领导权，又妄用其影响力以实现自己自私的（有时是变态的）目的。罗马皇帝尼禄（Nero）将怀孕的妻子鞭打致死，有人怀疑，他曾为了擢升自己的政治影响力而点燃罗马大火；英国国王亨利八世（Henry VIII of England）因为女人没能为他生下王子而将其送上断头台，据传，在英国农民忍饥挨饿的时候，他却能一晚上吃掉8只鸡；还有西班牙臭名昭著的费迪南德和伊莎贝拉（Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain），他们在西班牙设立起进行异端审判的宗教法庭。名单无穷无尽。即使在文学作品里，我们也能看见因为本不配得到成功的人滥用成功而对整个社会和人类造成的腐败和衰落，正如我们在威廉·莎士比亚的悲剧《李尔王》（King Lear）中所见的那样。故事中，当李尔王将权力移交给邪恶的女儿瑞根和高纳里尔后，混乱取代了社会秩序，只有当美德（以李尔王的好女儿考蒂利亚伟化身）回归英国之后，秩序才稍稍恢复。当成功落入无德之人手中时，成功是危险的。

然而，有些人的愿望不一定邪恶或贪婪，只是他们不知道如何对待成功。相比对其他人而言，这种情况对当事人来说更具灾难性，因为他会毁掉自己的成功，回到原来的舒适区。成功应该使人成长，而不应被妄用，也不应使人害怕。

当卑鄙的人或不成熟的人取得成功时，成功是最具灾难性的。成功不是以牺牲身边人为代价换取幸福，而是用刚刚得到的幸福去改善其他人的生活。如果一个人能够仔细思考拉尔夫·沃尔多·爱默生（Ralph Waldo Emerson）的话：“成功就是知道有人因为你的存在而呼吸得更轻松。”，他就永不会误入歧途。

三、得分点详解

1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点，运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点，从而展示出色的思辨能力。

针对命题“成功可以是灾难性的吗？”，本文提出论点 “当成功被错误的人掌握时，其力量将是灾难性的”(The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands.)。接下来，作者进一步指出，错误的人分为两类：第一类人为了实现自我成功，而不把周围的人生死放在眼里；另一类人追求的目标不一定自私，但就是不知道怎么对待取得的成功，因此落得自我毁灭的下场。（Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.）

作者分别从历史和文学两方面对自私自利的人成功后带来灾难进行了事例论证。历史人物包括罗马皇帝尼禄（Nero），英国国王亨利八世（Henry VIII of England），以及西班牙的费迪南和伊莎贝拉（Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain）。他们“成功地取得了领导权”，却“妄用其影响力以实现自己自私的（有时是变态的）目的” （Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals.），从而给人民带来了灾难。在此作者运用列举法，并没有对每个人物做过多细节性的渲染，而是选取了他们最具代表性的行为，虽然篇幅简短，却显得论据充足，颇有气势。作者还选取了文学人物，李尔王的坏女儿瑞根和高纳里尔（Regan and Goneril）作为事例。她们也成功地取得了王位，却使得“混乱取代了社会秩序” （In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril.）

对于那些因为不懂得如何对待成功而自取毁灭的人，作者并没有给出具体事例，只是分析到他们毁掉成功的原因是因为害怕成功，希望“回到原来的舒适区” 。（it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone.）

在结尾段，作者总结到：“当卑鄙的人或不成熟的人取得成功时，成功是最具灾难性的。”（ Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element.）并提出对成功的正确认识：“成功不是以牺牲身边人为代价换取幸福，而是用刚刚得到的幸福去改善其他人的生活。”（ Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you –it is about using one’s newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others.）最后，作者引用了拉尔夫·沃尔多·爱默生（Ralph Waldo Emerson）的话：“成功就是知道有人因为你的存在而呼吸得更轻松。” （“To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.”），并指出如果一个人能够仔细思考这句话，他就不会误入歧途，可谓给“成功带来灾难”的现象开出了一剂药方，升华了主题。

整篇文章综合运用了事例、分析和引用来证明论点，展现了出色的思辨能力。

2 is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas

结构合理，中心明确，思路连贯，衔接自然。

文章采用总-分-总的结构，首段提出论点，中间段用事例证明论点，末段引经据典，总结事例并升华主题。在叙述事例的时候，作者综合运用了 “On the other hand”, “but”, “thus”, “since”等过渡词，以及过渡句，如第二段开头的 “However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success.” 文章在语义衔接上也十分流畅。

全文紧扣论点，不枝不蔓，起承转合十分得体。

3 exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary
  显示运用语言的技巧，词汇丰富、准确、恰当

4 demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure
运用多种句子结构

5 is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
在语法、用法和技巧上错误很少

本篇范文的作者展示了驾驭语言的高超能力。作者储存的词汇显然很丰富。对于那些会将成功引向灾难的人，作者有如下4种表达： “wrong hands”， “the unworthy”， “those who do not deserve it”，以及 “the unvirtuous”；同样是赢得权力，作者也用了 “succeeded in gaining leadership” 和 “power shift”两种表达方式；关于不见于史书的轶事，写尼禄的时候是 “has been suspected of”, 而写亨利八世的时候则是 “is rumored to”。作者对各种句式的运用也很熟练。第一段的 “On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.”既是多重从句，又有现在分词做状语； 而第二段的 “In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril.” 则运用了被动语态和同位语。全文长短句结合，参差有序。

Leepenpen

传说中的沙发？？？哇卡卡